DORKS

WVU Scouting Report

Wanny continues to work his magic- despite the fact that many fan-geniuses wanted him out.
As the recruits continue to roll in-- BP checked in on West Virginia's recruiting efforts.
It seems football is no longer the craze in the Mountaineer state.
They're into a new game:

West Virginia Still Sucks a Week Later

NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE SAYS DICKROD

Pittsburgh 2008

Greatest game in 25 years marred by fact that Smiling Steve had better seats than Hangman.

Dinner in Morgantown

Sheetz Gas Station, they call it the shit sandwich. Make sure you get one on the way out of hell.

West Virginia Victory March

Dinner in Morgantown

Sheetz Gas Station, they call it the shit sandwich. Make sure you get one on the way out of hell.

Shutting It Down

Dozens of you asked why BP insisted on continuing to feature the Smiler's image so prominently the past few months. Now you know. Out 300 million people, 20 million illegals, this was the best Nordenberg could come up with. Nevermind what's sure to be the protracted firing of Wanny, yet another logo change, or the blatant disregard for alumni.....
most of all, BP simply cannot stomach the thought of sitting in a half empty Heinz Field next fall, looking down and seeing bubble boy. You win smiler. We never had a chance.

Team Pittsburgh 2007

It's All Relative: A Photo Essay of Boner and Hangman's 2005 trip to Milan Puskar Stadium

Tonight, Boner & Hangman take a magical look back at their last trip to West Virginia.
We call it: a study in nuance.



Kickoff: Hangman discovers some rascal has
smeared feces on his seat. When questioned,
this spirited fan opts to smash Hangman in the face.

Boner is dismayed to learn his host family has opted to make it a 'Nascar weekend' rather than accompany him to Morgantown.

Funny story: As you can see, Boner and Hangman were a little worse for wear after tailgating. But what you don't know is-- Boner (left) later misplaced his watch! However, Hangman was able to get the vomit out his shirt.

Fun!!!!
Following NIT glory, a little silliness: The last I is dropped from Virginia turning what should have been a mediocre moment into a national embarrassment.



Last but not least, Boner the shutterbug manages to capture the essence of West Virginia football.

The Worst State in America

10 BONER BOY FACTS ABOUT WEST VIRGINIA:

1) Jesco the Dancing Outlaw is WVU's only Rhodes Scholar.

2) 80% of the state lives on Medicaid

3) It is legal to have sex with your sister.

4) According to U.S. Census Bureau data, West Virginia is the third lowest in per capita income ahead of only Arkansas and Mississippi.

5) It also ranks last in median household income.

6) The proportion of West Virginia's adult population with a bachelor's degree is the lowest in the U.S. at 15.3%.

7) The state of WV is nicknamed Hell on Earth.

8) The state of WV has produced more serial killers than any other US State.

9) Moonshine is the state's largest export.

10) If you want to die young, live in this state.

The new meaning of gay WV love

Somebody please shoot me

Ed Pastilong & Rich Rod After the Game

RichRod to Wanny after the Game

Tribute to Those Making the Trip Down I79

BE VERY CAREFUL, VERY CAREFUL...

Heinz Field Partnership Part Deux

Thanks Steve Pederson! We caught one important picture of the famous Heinz Field after the Pitt-South Florida game and one today of the re-sodding. The picture above is after the South Florida game and the picture below is from today's re-sodding. They actually have armed gunmen guarding the shit sandwich field known as the Ketchup Pit. Great job Steve.

Click on this Picture- Boner Boy Spotted on McKnight Road

The Heinz Field Partnership

Thanks to Steve "Rocketman" Pederson, we have gone through another successful season at Heinz Field. If it wasn't for Steve, we would have 10,000 peoople coming to old Pitt Stadium. People praised the move to Heinz Field and called Pederson a genius. Steve said that the move would increase attendance, allow easier access to and from the stadium, and add to the overall atmosphere.

So far we've seen ketchup bottles, ice cream in the parking lot out of a crack van, and most of all, a great natural grass field. Heinz Field is the perfect gameday experience for those sold out Panther games.

Great pics Boner.

Nothing was more inspiring Saturday (following the South Florida t-bagging) than seeing the anxious field crews pacing outside with their rolls of shit-filled sod.

Nice to be treated like the wedding guest who just took a dump on the dance floor then wiped his ass on the bride's gown.

We're suprised the crews didn't grab some cattle prods to push the anemic crowd along.

Here's a thought: the Class A game on Friday had a better field than Pitt.

Who knows? Maybe it helped Serra beat Springdale. But let's go back 6 or 7 years ago... remember how excited... err hungry... everyone was?

2001 press release:
Are you hungry for some football? Heinz Field will be the name of the new 65,000-seat home of the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Pittsburgh Panthers under an exclusive 20-year partnership announced today.

Pitt is lucky. As the area's ultimate bottomman, only the salad tossers at the jail know the joy of such a rewarding 'partnership'.

Warning: If you've ever seen an SEC game, this picture will make you physically ill

The Pagentry that is... Pederson Football.

Pitt's Real Senior Day

Thanks Steve for inspiring the young people.

This wacky group of alumni (class of 1936)

love taking the bus down to the stadium.

Next stop: Atlantic City.

Packed house

USF's own Debra LaFave Predicts Bull's Blowout

The bad teacher, and most famous USF graduate Debra LaFave, was interviewed by Boner Boy this week from her jail cell. Boner boy who had a boner during the interview, asked USF's most famous graduate who she liked in this week's Kennard Cox senior bowl. She first asked me how old I was. And then once finding out that I could grow facial hair, she wanted nothing do with me and replied, "Bulls 31 Panthers 7. Your team sucks and if you were 14, I would suck you right now."

Great girl and USF is proud of her accomplishments. LaFave does deserve the credit for molding current USF QB, Matt Grothe into the player he is today. She gave him his first BJ when he was just 10 years old. Matt used to wear glasses back then and had a dorky mohawk. "Debra molded me into the man I am today. Before she blew me when I was in grade school, I had no style and I couldn't throw a football. Now look at me, " said the stylish Grothe. Friday night should be interesting on Liberty Avenue in downtown, supposedly Debra got a weekend pass and is working at Blush. Matt is supposed to make an appearance there too.

What's JoePa's Salary? 3,4,5,6 Million?

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) - The salaries of Penn State coach Joe
Paterno and the school's top administrators must be disclosed by
the state retirement system, the state Supreme Court ruled Tuesday.

The 4-2 decision said the Commonwealth Court, which had ordered
the disclosure, properly balanced the public's interest in knowing
details about retirement system finances against the effects
disclosure might have on reputations and personal security.

There's been speculation for years that Paterno is among the
highest paid coaches, but the numbers have never been public.
Alabama's Nick Saban became the highest paid coach in college
football at $4 million per year when he was hired by the Crimson
Tide after last season. Oklahoma's Bob Stoops makes over $3 million
and several coaches, including Ohio State's Jim Tressel, Florida's
Urban Meyer and South Carolina's Steve Spurrier make upward of $2
million annually.

Pitt's Donna Sanft After Watching Rutgers Loss

Black Monday

It's been a tough weekend for Hangman.
The Steelers crushed him.
He lost 980 dollars gambling on college games-- and he couldn't get his late Sunday Patriots bet in on time which would have halved his losses. Then, he had to pretend to be in a good mood even though his wife made him watch an Italian film about peasants during World War Two.

Most crushing of all-- the panthers fell victim to some Jersey home cookin. Hangman gets no solace from the rumors wiseguys pulled a tony soprano on the refs. no matter what, the end result is the same: hangman is hurting. As always (see Navy, Louisville, the last 2 decades) the questions remain: Why does Hangman keep coming back for more? Why does he work to sabotage smiling Steve from coming back? Why does he even care? Easy, Pitt is Hangman's Rose Marie.

Nordy's Message To Steve Pederson

It's a crucial moment for Pitt's fearless leader, Marky Mark Nordenberg. But Mark knows what he wants and its just a matter of time before his boner goes full throttle and Stevie comes home.

Mr. Anonymous's Identity Revealed

TWO BONERS THAT WILL MAKE THE DECISION

Mark Nordenberg & Judge Crappy. They are the one's to blame, not Dave Wannstedt, not Walt Harris, not the fat guy that sits in front of me at the Pete. These two morons are the one's that will gravitate Pitt towards mediocrity. Thanks you shitfaces.

Husker AD Fired

BRING BACK STEVE--HE IS THE BEST. ONLY PITT WOULD HIRE THIS FOOL!

BRING BACK STEVE--HE IS GREAT

He tells former athletes to beat it, he doesn't talk to donors, and he fires everyone. That's just what Pitt needs Anonymous man! Couldn't be a better story for Pitt's shitty program....Steve comes back, fires Wannstedt, fires Buddy Morris, and everyone in the athletic department. Steve decides to bring in Bill Callahan and Walt as his assistant and he fires Agnus for Tracy Waites. "Steve is the best," says Anonymous Man. "At least we won when Steve was here," another great point by Mr. Anonymous. But Steve is a douche and so are you.

Nice School You F'ng Gafones

Meet Tommy Sputtoni-Morelli. Gandolfini's freshman year roommate. Tommy is famous for combining ricotta, polenta, and crostoli into one big dish he called a New Jersey
Shithouse. Tommy left us too early, dying at the age of 28 from a bacon overdose.

Meet North Jersey's own Chip Patinelli. After seeing this picture, Chip realized his life was a joke and he took his own life. His parents opted to bury him with his beloved red helmet.

Uh. The movie 300 wasn't as hardcore gay as this.

BP National Desk: Packing Heat

Green Bay, Wisconsin

Sad, Steve Pederson spotted grabbing Packers' Package.

Says now that he can't be an AD, he at least wants to be an athletic supporter.
Jerk.

Chopping Wood Ruggers Style

Greg deposited something in his pants this year. I just hope I don't see him wearing those JoePa floods again with white socks and black turf shoes. Toolbag.

Protect R Turf - Rutgers Football 2007

Might be the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Breaking News: Cops Desperate To Locate Steve, Marc

Breaking News from Omaha World-Herald:


LINCOLN — The tale of the tail end may have reached an end. At least that's what folks in Valentine, Neb., hope after someone slathered his bare backside — and front side — with Vaseline, then left prints on windows of businesses, schools and churches.Rewards offered through Crime Stoppers failed to halt the pants-dropping perpetrator's spree, which began in May.The local Midland News newspaper called the vandal or vandals "lewd, lubricated, lurching lunatics." A radio station dubbed them "the buttcheek bandits."





Update:
The pair are now being blamed for not only smearing the town of Lincoln, but the entire state of Nebraska.


In light of this breaking news:
BP poses the following hypothetical: which is worse?
Being the buttcheek bandit or Steve P?
Answer: Steve P.
Why? Because when he's eventually caught, the bandit will plead to a misdeameanor and be forgotten. As for Steve P- he can't show his face at a restaurant, a mall, a gas station, (and most of all) a Nebraska game ever again without facing public ridicule.
His 'dream job' is now a nightmare.
He's the OJ of the plain states and his Al Cowlings, Marc Boehm, will forever be his assistant butt bandit.

Nordenberg and Search Committee Hard at Work

It has come to Boner Boy's attention that during the bye week, Chancellor Mark Nordenberg aka Nordy, and his trustworthy search committee has been hard at work searching for the next bitch of Pitt's athletic department. One unnamed source said, "The search has been top secret so far, but the one thing I can tell you is Nordy broke out the WOPR to find the next AD."

Wow, the WOPR! How did Pitt get their hands on the WOPR? Nobody knows, but the WOPR stands for: We Operate Pitt Retardedly. And it will be used for all future decisions in the athletic department. Nordy broke out the WOPR in 2003 right after Stevie Huskerboy left to ruin Nebraska's program. It was used extensively when Marc Boehm was the interim AD and it's currently being used today to help out Donna Sanft.

"I think the WOPR will be used as long as Nordy is the Chancellor," reiterated the unnamed source. He went on to say, "it's evident that the WOPR is working because the list of deadbeat candidates is growing as we speak." The latest names to jump into the candidate circle are:

Pittsburgh's own BE Taylor

David "Vince McMahon" Littlefield

Billy "I must break you and the rest of the city" Peduto

Soon to be looking for a job and speaks great French:

The WOPR couldn't have found better dildos for Nordy and the search committee. Boner boy gives thumbs up on this one.

Cheers To Pitt

It's happened countless times.

Someone approaches Hangman in the Heinz Field parking lot on a Saturday morning and says, "This tailgate sucks. Why do you waste your time?"

Great question.

And one that we take seriously.

You see, we know what Pitt is doing. They want to assure the cold, corporate atmosphere only a pro stadium can bring to college athletics.

Boner's buddy, Darryl the Security Guard adds:

"It's genius. An early Saturday start guarantees a lack of attendence by both fans and students. All conviviality is lost. All buzz is killed. There's absolutely no consensus built. With a fractionalized fan-base, the same tired gray hairs stay in power... continuing to appease the masses with their dilettantish approach to Pitt athletics. True fans be damned."

BP doesn't know what all that means. Sounds a little too 'conspiracy theory'.
We've got our own theory: these dumbasses don't know what they're doing.

The only thing to do. Make it a holiday.
Treat every Pitt game like Christmas morning.

Sponsored by Jones Christmas Ham soda

Boner Boy Scouting on Bye Week

I decided to venture down I79 to hell tonight to scout the Jesco Mountaineers. Instead of watching the game, I couldn't help but notice this guy and it made me think....does he ever get laid?

That's all I have, pretty boring week when you see some dildo like this.

Out There Lurking

BP CSI gets ready to break down the game, Miami style

Fucking Hot dogs T-Bag Huskers

Steve Pederson's legacy took another hit this weekend after the fighting (feasting) Manginos went shithouse on Nebraska, 76-39.
76 points is the most those hayseeds have ever allowed in a single game.
So before Bill gets his pink slip and brings to a close the Pederson Era,
we want to congratulate Boner Boy.
For years, B squared has worked to convince us that big-boned Mike was 'one to watch'.
Funny, back in July, the KC Star claimed this was an audition year for Mangino and that he'd better get it right-- or else.
Sounds familiar.


Anyway--here's one those magical 'teaching' moments that only adds to the fairytale.

Pitt victory march

Wanny leaving game

Urban Dictionary 2008 entry

Pulling a Eisenberger: Causing trouble at an event you have no vested interest in.
I.e. a Pitt fan showing up at a Penn State party and throwing beer at an Ohio State fan.

THE FACE OF PANTHER PRIDE: RICHARD EISENBERGER

BP CSI slowed down Boner's video to reveal

the face of the Panther Fan at the center of the storm.

Dickie is considered drunk and dangerous.

BREAKING NEWS: Pitt Kid Kicks Ass At Penn State/Ohio State Game

Nice job Dickie Eisenberger.
Donations to the Eisenberger defense fund can be made to Pitt Blue Panthers



From Trib:

Richard A. Eisenberger Jr., 20, a University of Pittsburgh student, was charged with disorderly conduct and harassment in connection with an off-campus brouhaha before the Penn State-Ohio State football game last weekend, State College police said yesterday.
Police said they identified Eisenberger, of Easton, as the man seen in an online video throwing a beer can at an Ohio State fan Saturday night.

The unnamed victim, a 21-year-old Ohio State student, was walking through an outdoor party at the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity when party-goers became hostile, police said.
A video of the incident surfaced on YouTube and shows the victim being pelted with beer cans. Eisenberger struck the victim with a beer can near the neck, police said. Eisenberger could not be reached for comment.
The victim suffered bruising from the attack but did not require medical treatment, police said.
The fraternity also was charged with disorderly conduct, police said. Penn State's Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life has temporarily suspended Pi Kappa Alpha chapter activities until the investigation is complete.

Tailgater's Guide for Our Visiting Orange Fans

Today the Orange faithful are lucky. You will see via Boner Boy Cam the best places to tailgate on Saturday. And don't worry, at the Heinz Field parking lots--there is always plenty of room!

THE REAL REASON BONER BOY IS A PITT FAN!

Everyone wants to know, why? Why is Boner Boy a Pitt fan? What keeps him coming back to Heinz Field? It's simple, this song should make everyone realize just how deep my toughts are for this program of ours. One day back in 1990 Paul Hacket hooked me on the feeling of Panther ball. Ever since then, why yes, I have had a big boner for Pitt football. What's not to like? Nordy, Cochran, Wanny, the big yellow submarine ketchup bottle Rooney home at Heinz Field, cold nachos, old gray hairs sitting next to me, the worst college band in america coming out of the tunnel with smoke, empty seats everywhere, and most of all, our German national anthem. I will never leave you Pitt, as she will never leave me.

Anthony Morelli's Biggest Catch to Date

Cheswick, PA--Penn State quarterback Anthony Morelli caught a 40-pound, 44-inch flathead catfish. All while his father Greg was picking up fat girls in Clyde & Patties Bar. The big catfish was nicknamed Galen and was T-Bone's (Morelli's nickname in the streets of Penn Skillz) biggest catch during his illustrious career at the University of Penn State. Greg can lay his head to sleep at night knowing that his son fulfilled his dream. Tyler Reed a former UPS lineman said, "I never went to UPS for football, everyone knows you go there to fish. And Anthony showed us all how it was done."

Anthony will soon be on the bass master's pro tour. He already

informed the National Football League of his decision and asked

not be contacted or drafted. One GM told Boner Boy off the record,

"Anthony could never pass the wonderlic test." Former Pitt coach

Walt Harris was asked about T-Bone's future as a QB in the NFL,

"He should stick to fishing in the Allegheny. Tony decommitted from

Pitt the night we gave him the playbook. He couldn't get past the contents."

This Old Milwaukee is for you Morelli family, "It just don't get better than this!"

PSU, OSU reeling from 178th scandal in ten years

Photo: Ohio State Fans minutes

after viewing Boner's PSU YouTube Video

BP's system nearly crashed from all the emails concerning Boner Boy brilliant PSU video post.

It shows some Penn State rascals giving a group of Ohio State boys an old-fashioned razzing.

Well, it seems the administration is now suddenly taking offense.

Their position?

Players beating up students at a party, sexually assaulting someone, stealing things,

cleaning out the stadium, and a coach's road rage may be one thing.

But these 'spirited' fans nearly tarnished the folksy down-home family vibe that envelopes

JoePa's happy valley.

Here's an excerpt from a carefully worded letter that no doubt has any number of rich frat guys quaking:

As Associate to the President for Administration, I help Dr. Spanier address the important issues that are brought to his attention. Thank you for sharing your concerns about the behavior of some of our fans. Media accounts following the game indicated that fans were spirited, but overall exhibited better behavior, so I am disappointed to see the youtube video.
Our Office of Police Services is investigating it in an attempt to identify those involved.

(Tom PooleThomas G. Poole,

Ph.D.Associate to the President for Administration)

Says longtime OSU booster Maurice Clarett:

"Shock. I can't believe it. I mean it's like damn.

Fun is fun. But this is some F-Upped Sh** up

in this bitch. What a disgrace."

Brad69 tells BP, "I must concur with Mr Clarett. I was one of the Ohio State 3 pelted with Natural Light. After the attack I took off down I-80 faster than Troy Smith through the Longhorns D-Line."

Happy Halloween to Wanny & G-Rob

Here's To You Mr Robinson

Lifetime Presents: Shattered Dildo, The Greg Robinson Story.

How bad is it in Syracuse? These guys can't even get a proper FireGregRobinson site going.

It's under construction; Guess they're waiting to be 2-7 before really devoting themselves to it.